I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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