ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
