so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
