His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
