We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
