oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
