so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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