i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
