I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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