Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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