Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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