this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
