eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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