I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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