This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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