Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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