His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
