you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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