I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
