we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
