she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
