my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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