need another drink. this is the easiest way
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
