i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
