she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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