Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish i was in the wii world.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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