I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Come on in and take your pants off
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