When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
