Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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