What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she smelled like a LAN party
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
