Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize