I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
