You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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