I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
