I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
