Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
