THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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