yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
