Dual....:-)
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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