fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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