found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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