At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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