Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
