I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
