I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
