It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize