My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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