At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
