that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
