Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
