Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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