I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
