he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize