Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
