didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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