Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
