i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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