The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
