I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
