well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
