help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Randomize
