I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
