i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
