FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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