Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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